Teaching on community building
Community isn't built by events. Events are built by community. The difference is everything.
SW
Stephanie Wittels Wachs

The Heartbeat of Togetherness

In her poignant assertion, "Community isn't built by events. Events are built by community. The difference is everything," Stephanie Wittels Wachs invites us to reconsider the foundational elements of community. This statement underscores the idea that genuine connection arises not from the mere orchestration of gatherings, but from the relationships and shared experiences that precede them. The stakes are high; in a world increasingly defined by superficial interactions, understanding this distinction can lead to more meaningful, lasting connections among individuals.

Wachs's insight challenges us to shift our focus from the external trappings of community—such as events, programs, or initiatives—to the internal dynamics of human relationships. When we prioritize the cultivation of authentic bonds, we create fertile ground for events that resonate deeply with participants. This perspective emphasizes a people-first approach, suggesting that the essence of community lies in the shared stories, vulnerabilities, and joys of its members, rather than in the structures we often mistakenly believe define it.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Wachs's quote evokes a sense of organic growth, where community is likened to a living organism that thrives on connection and interaction. The verbs "built" and "are" highlight a dynamic process; community is not a static entity but rather a continuous unfolding of relationships. This metaphor suggests that events are merely the manifestations of a deeper, underlying communal spirit, which is nurtured through shared experiences and mutual support.

In the speaker's tradition

Wachs's perspective aligns with the broader tradition of community-building, which emphasizes the importance of relational dynamics over transactional interactions. Concepts such as "kenosis," or self-emptying, resonate here, as they encourage individuals to prioritize the needs and experiences of others in the communal space. This approach fosters an environment where vulnerability and authenticity can thrive, allowing community members to connect on a deeper level.

In the realm of community-building literature, the work of Parker Palmer serves as a relevant reference point. In his book "The Courage to Teach," Palmer discusses the importance of creating a "community of truth" where individuals feel safe to share their authentic selves. This aligns with Wachs's assertion that events are merely the byproducts of a community that has already established a foundation of trust and connection. Both perspectives highlight the transformative power of relationships in fostering a sense of belonging and purpose.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario in which a neighborhood organizes a block party. While the event itself may seem like the focal point, the true essence of the gathering lies in the relationships that have been nurtured among neighbors over time. Conversations that began with simple greetings evolve into deeper connections, as individuals share their stories, challenges, and aspirations. In this context, the block party becomes a celebration of the community that has already been cultivated, rather than a mere event designed to create community.

Another application of Wachs's teaching can be found in personal relationships. Imagine a friendship that has weathered storms and celebrated joys together. The strength of this bond is not merely a result of shared experiences but is rooted in the trust and understanding that have developed over time. In moments of conflict or misunderstanding, recalling the foundation of connection can help navigate challenges, reinforcing the idea that the relationship itself is the true source of resilience, rather than the events that may have brought them together.

A reflection

As we contemplate Wachs's profound statement, we are invited to reflect on the nature of our own communities. Are we focusing on the events we create, or are we nurturing the relationships that give rise to those events? In what ways can we deepen our connections with others, fostering a sense of belonging that transcends the superficial? Consider this contemplative question: How can you actively contribute to the community around you, not just through participation in events, but by investing in the relationships that make those events meaningful?

Author
Stephanie Wittels Wachs

Wisdom from Stephanie Wittels Wachs.

Got Questions?

Frequently Asked Questions

Wachs emphasizes that the essence of community lies in the relationships and connections among its members, rather than in the events themselves. This perspective suggests that meaningful gatherings arise from a foundation of trust and shared experiences, highlighting the importance of nurturing interpersonal bonds.
You can apply this teaching by prioritizing genuine interactions with those around you. Focus on building relationships through shared experiences, active listening, and empathy, rather than merely participating in events or gatherings.
Yes, this idea resonates with various community-building texts, such as Parker Palmer's 'The Courage to Teach,' which emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for authentic connections. Both works highlight the transformative power of relationships in fostering a sense of belonging.
Community-building focuses on nurturing relationships and creating a sense of belonging among individuals, while event planning often centers on organizing specific gatherings or activities. Wachs's quote suggests that true community arises from the connections formed, which can then lead to meaningful events.
Practices such as active listening, vulnerability, and intentional sharing can support living this teaching. Engaging in regular conversations with others, expressing gratitude, and being present in relationships can help cultivate the community spirit that Wachs describes.

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