Teaching on surrender
What we resist persists. What we befriend, we transcend.
SR
Sri Ramana Maharshi

Embracing the Unseen: The Path to Transcendence

In the profound words of Sri Ramana Maharshi, "What we resist persists. What we befriend, we transcend." This statement encapsulates a fundamental truth about the human experience: our struggles often arise from our attempts to deny or fight against what we perceive as negative or unwanted. By resisting our inner turmoil, we inadvertently give it power, allowing it to linger and grow. Conversely, when we choose to embrace our challenges with compassion and understanding, we open the door to transformation and liberation.

This teaching invites us to reconsider our relationship with discomfort and adversity. Rather than viewing them as obstacles to be avoided, Maharshi encourages us to see them as opportunities for growth and self-discovery. This shift in perspective is not merely a psychological exercise; it is a spiritual practice that aligns with the essence of Vedanta, where the journey toward self-realization often involves confronting and integrating the shadows within us. By befriending our struggles, we cultivate a deeper wisdom that leads to true freedom.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery in Maharshi's quote is striking in its simplicity yet profound in its implications. The verbs "resist" and "befriend" evoke a sense of agency in our emotional and spiritual lives. To resist is to engage in a battle, often leading to exhaustion and frustration, while to befriend suggests a gentle acceptance, an invitation to understand and learn from our experiences. This duality captures the essence of our inner conflicts, where the act of resistance often perpetuates suffering, while acceptance fosters healing.

In the speaker's tradition

Within the framework of Vedanta, Maharshi's teaching resonates deeply with the concepts of surrender and self-inquiry. The notion of "surrender" (prapatti) invites us to let go of our ego-driven desires and fears, allowing the divine to guide us. This surrender is not a passive resignation but an active engagement with the present moment, where we acknowledge our struggles without judgment. In this context, befriending our challenges becomes a form of surrender, a recognition that our resistance stems from the ego's desire to control and avoid discomfort.

Furthermore, this teaching echoes the principles found in the Upanishads, where the idea of "sunyata" or emptiness invites us to confront the illusions of the self. By embracing our struggles, we begin to dissolve the boundaries of the ego, leading us toward a state of "fana," or annihilation of the self. This transformative process aligns with the teachings of self-inquiry (atma-vichara), where the seeker is encouraged to turn inward and explore the nature of their thoughts and emotions. In doing so, we can transcend the limitations imposed by our resistance and discover the deeper truths of our existence.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: a person grappling with anxiety about an upcoming job interview. The instinctive reaction may be to resist the feelings of fear and self-doubt, pushing them away in an attempt to maintain composure. However, by choosing to befriend these emotions—acknowledging their presence and exploring their origins—this individual can transform their experience. Instead of succumbing to panic, they might find clarity and insight, ultimately approaching the interview with a sense of calm and confidence.

In a different context, imagine a relationship strained by unresolved conflicts. One partner may feel the urge to resist discussing the issues, fearing confrontation and potential hurt. Yet, by embracing the discomfort of these conversations, both partners can foster a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives. This act of befriending the conflict allows for healing and growth, ultimately transcending the barriers that once seemed insurmountable. In both scenarios, the practice of befriending our struggles leads to a more profound connection with ourselves and others.

A reflection

As we contemplate the wisdom of Sri Ramana Maharshi's words, we are invited to reflect on our own lives: What are the struggles we resist, and how might we begin to befriend them? This question encourages us to explore the areas where we feel stuck or overwhelmed, recognizing that within these challenges lies the potential for transformation. By embracing our discomfort with compassion and curiosity, we can embark on a journey toward greater self-awareness and freedom, ultimately transcending the limitations we once believed defined us.

Author
Sri Ramana Maharshi

Wisdom from Sri Ramana Maharshi.

Got Questions?

Frequently Asked Questions

Maharshi's statement highlights the idea that our attempts to deny or fight against our struggles often lead to their intensification. By resisting, we give power to our fears and anxieties, allowing them to persist in our lives. Instead, he suggests that embracing these challenges can lead to understanding and transcendence.
You can apply this teaching by recognizing moments of discomfort or resistance in your life and choosing to confront them with curiosity rather than avoidance. For instance, when faced with anxiety, instead of pushing it away, take a moment to explore its roots and acknowledge its presence, allowing for a deeper understanding and eventual release.
Yes, the concept of befriending one's struggles and the importance of surrender is echoed in various Vedanta texts, including the Upanishads and the Bhagavad Gita. These texts emphasize the value of self-inquiry and acceptance as pathways to realizing one's true nature and achieving liberation.
Surrender, in the context of Maharshi's teaching, is an active engagement with one's experiences, allowing for growth and understanding. In contrast, resignation implies a passive acceptance of circumstances without the intention to explore or learn from them. Surrender invites transformation, while resignation can lead to stagnation.
A practice that supports this teaching is mindfulness meditation, where individuals learn to observe their thoughts and emotions without judgment. This practice cultivates the ability to befriend one's inner experiences, fostering acceptance and understanding, which can lead to greater emotional resilience and spiritual growth.
To befriend struggles in relationships, start by openly communicating your feelings and concerns with your partner. Instead of avoiding difficult conversations, approach them with a spirit of curiosity and compassion, seeking to understand each other's perspectives. This openness can transform conflicts into opportunities for deeper connection.

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